Double agents and double crossings

It was something in the air. The putrid smell of justice and retribution could be scented among the foliage of spring and the proliferation of pigeon shit.

The man was on to them.

The Double Agent backed up the files with a snap of her wrist and unconscious toss of her silky blond locks. Anyone of her equally privileged and overworked coworkers would assume she was doing what she always does – handling business.

They would be right. It is the nature of that business, its very insidiousness, that would surprise them. The Double Agent had become an Insider’s Insider, in no small part because she knew how to properly handle, and dispose of, business.

Not to mention she knows the smell of retribution when she inhales it.

In days she would have a high-powered attorney, a justice committee head calling for blood and F-I-F tattooed on the small of her back.

The Double Agent hated the smell of justice almost as much as she hated being on the receiving end of it.

/Scene

That is how I imagine Monica Goodling's final days before she made good on the promise held in the phrase “going underground.”

Fine, I may have taken a few creative liberties, but you have to admit it beats CNN’s “legitimate” reporting (read: snooze fest) wherein all they could dig up was a resume, some law school reunion pics and neighbors who claim they don’t know her.

I do not know what it is Ms. Goodling knows or when she knew it…or when she told it, but I do know that if Ms. Lewinsky had been half as smart as this chick she might be employable and we might have enjoyed the final days of the go-go 90s in peace.

Whatever happens here I find this chick intriguing. In the day and age of reality TV, Internet infamy and Paris Hilton, I am amazed that someone can resist the call of the cameras. This woman must have something to live for.

Or, she’s seen what they do to pretty girls in sing-sing. Either way, I’m just saying, it has the potential to be good news TV.

Something that some folks are saying wasn’t good news TV was Katie Couric’s interview of Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards and his wife Elizabeth who recently disclosed – in a very discreet and private manner in front of two hundred cameras – that her cancer battle has resumed.

Look, I’m no Couric fan. Neither am I a John Edwards fan – pretty boys make me nervous. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be titillated or intimidated. However, I have always liked Elizabeth.

As is often the case with political wives, people tend to forget that she’s a lawyer with a damn impressive resume herself. In interviews she has always struck me to be the heft behind the Barbie, or the Ken, as it were.

She comes across as human, engaged, self-depreciating and smart.

Her husband often comes across as a Breck girl.

Yet, I do not think Couric’s interview crossed the line. It certainly crossed it no more times than does the media’s relentless pursuit of mistresses, errant lines in a ten-year-old memoir or a candidate’s wife penchant for writing romance novels.

Some people DO wonder if the announcement was properly positioned to maximize its time on the front page. Some people DO wonder if having an ailing wife hurts or helps Edwards’ campaign. And after so many years of being pandered to and simultaneously raped by our elected officials, many of us *gasp* question the motives of anyone who would want to join their ranks.

It is not the questions that crossed the line, but our need to ask the questions that has pushed us all over the line. And no one is more to blame for that than politicians who kiss cute babies, visit black churches on kente cloth day and screen attendees at “town hall” meetings.

So leave Couric alone. The Hill, the House and the Press created this mess.
Most of us would have been satisfied with an address to send good well cards

The War and The Race

Alright kiddies. Forgive me my delay in posting, but there have not been many presidential run bombshells and, well, to be honest, I was pretty sick and tired.

But your girl is bouncing back and what is in the news? What is always in the news – war is the topic of the day.

The Democrats have rolled out their ambitious 100 hour plan/manifesto and they are tackling some mighty big issues head on. Chief among them is a national minimum wage hike and capping the cost of prescription drug costs. I am also hearing the faint rumblings of a “national health care” plan. I anticipate being called a socialist commie in about 10, 9, 8…damn. There went Fox News. Yep. It’s official. I’m a socialist commie. Wait until they find out my views on subsidized part-time daycare and extended job protections for maternity/paternity leaves of absence. They’ll think I’m a Nazi.

Again, the real issue is the one that the majority of Americans voted on in this past election – the Iraq war. Or more to the point, how in the hell are we going to get OUT of Iraq without looking like bumbling, incompetent idiots. As usual I hate to be Debby Downer – no, I really do! – but we are a bit too late on both of those objectives. We no longer even have an articulated goal or definition of “success” in Iraq, we are seemingly way more vested in the democracy of the Iraq people than they are themselves, and the rest of the world has already seen the little man behind the curtain. This ain’t purdy folks.

I feel like we are in some clichéd sitcom where the comedy of errors has gone on so long that no one even bothers to ask if the joke is funny anymore.

Well, this joke is no longer funny. The President’s “surge” idea is just another word for “escalation” or “throw more water on that oil fire” or “we have deemed the lives of American soldiers expendable”. Sending MORE troops to achieve an objective that isn’t even an objective with an enemy that cannot be defined or defended against goes beyond foolish at the speed of light and head-first into criminal.

Some pundits speculate that this is all political posturing – America’s last stand before we pull-out. Even that is a fool’s agenda. This is beyond pageantry at this point. If you feel the same way I strongly urge you to contact your senator. Sure, the wartime power we gave Bush after 9/11 makes them about as impotent as Bob Dole after he misses a dose of the little blue pill, but if you are like me, you will at least sleep better at night.

With all of this warring and lawmakering it would be easy to forget that for all practical political purposes the 2008 presidential election is underway. Easy to forget if you do not read People or watch TV that is.

It is official folks: Obama is sexier than John McCain and Edwards doesn’t not hate black people.

In other news, Joe Biden should be announcing any day and the Good Reverend Al Sharpton is considering tossing his Blue Magic into the ring.

When Al Sharpton runs for President he’s not running for President. It means someone has not told him what he wants to hear and he wants a seat at the debate.

Could it be some Dems are already slacking on courting that black vote? It seems Brother Al thinks so.

And I have heard plenty of rumblings about an Edwards-Obama ticket. That rumbling always leaves me vaguely confused. Why in the hot hell would Obama play second to Edwards? The other way around, maybe.

But the ticket dream that keeps me up nights is an Obama-Biden ticket. Yep. I said it. And the order is no mistake. Obama has the “it” factor and should capitalize it to no end, if that is his heart’s desire. However, I do think that Biden’s experience and breadth of foreign policy knowledge could add some gravitas to the unseasoned Senator from Illinois.

Here’s hoping the boys – and Hillary – can stop measuring themselves long enough to do what is best for us all.

Universal Healthcare...again

WASHINGTON - Democratic presidential contender John Edwards says it is more important to invest in universal health care and lifting people out of poverty than to reduce the budget deficit.

The 2004 vice presidential nominee said in an interview broadcast Sunday said "there is a tension" between the two directions, but he has made his choice.
"If I were choosing now between which is more important, I think the investments are more important," he said on ABC's "This Week."

Entire story here.

OK, I'll admit that I can respect Johnny taking a pretty controversial and unequivocal stand -- especially so early in the race. That takes some guts because the Republican election machine may be down, but it is NEVER out. And maybe some folks do not remember the liberal, socialist commie ass whooping they gave Hillary and Bill on this issue 12 years ago.

I am interested to see how Hillary would address this. She has worked too hard to go very centrist and I guarantee she has not forgotten that aforementioned ass whooping. So I imagine she won't be excited to embrace this issue again, but it is a good issue that plays well to her party. It could be one of many important compromises she will have to navigate as she tries to distance herself from her past to reach out to moderates and quasi-Republicans while not losing her base.

So the pretty boy is taking this run seriously. I can applaud that. If nothing else every entry into the race brings a set of issues to the fore that may otherwise be ignored. I believe it is high time we stop allowing the Republican party to reframe the debate on issues as important as health care. A healthy body politic is a healthy country, and wanting to provide for the least of us is no more socialist than the New Deal that gave so many Americans that almighty Social Security benefit they will fight to the death to keep.

But, John still cannot win. LOL

Pretty Boy Failure

John Edwards declares his candidacy.

For those who don't know, I am a North Carolinian so my feelings about John Edwards are extremely well-researched and nuanced.

Who is this guy and why does he keep popping up on my TV?

I mean, yes, he's rich, but contrary to what Hollywood would have you believe, there are a lot of rich people in the country. And he may indeed be smart. Carolina, after all, isn't known for turning out complete idiots – that's Duke's gig. And he's cute if you like those androgynous, freakishly upbeat Stuart Smalley types, but I am not impressed.

Let me explain something about the psyche of the American people. Collectively, we're a nation of beer drinking, sideline spectators. We like to WIN! We like to think of ourselves as winners, the facts of our diminishing role in global politics and economics be damned. We are the fuckin' U S of A and we'll do whatever it takes to win: steroids, a little dirt in your eye, a hollowed out bat, preemptive war strikes. Why? Cause white Jesus deemed us the chosen ones and we will whup yo' ass in the name of Christianity, apple pie and country music.

That's why poor little John doesn't stand much chance. He's a loser. Period.

His name will forever be attached to a losing ticket and he's not kick ass enough to separate himself from the stench of failure.

Having said that, there are also the issues of him having a very light political record, almost no stated policy positions and his youthful inexperience. Or do those things only matter when you're black? I get confused.

On one thing, however, I'm pretty clear: Edwards has a better shot of joining a black fraternity and leading a train in a step show than he does of winning the primary.