Friday, April 27, 2007

The View From Up Here…Or, Down Here…Or, Something…



I’m not sure if my esteemed colleagues in aimless political punditry would consider me a leader or a follower, but I do think everyone can agree that I am psychic.

No, really. See all tongue-in-cheek references to a darkhorse candidate providing entertainment value in last night’s presidential debate and then see the phenomenon that is Mike Gravel. The former representative from Alaska…yes, Alaska gave as good as he got last night. He foamed at the mouth, he chomped at the bit, he called Biden “arrogant”, challenged Obama to a duel and I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to think that he may have patted Hillary on the ass.

This man was the gold standard.

The rest of the field played their respective roles, as expected. Hillary got in a good texas-hold-‘em style promise of “swift retribution” should she find that two American cities had been attacked by terrorists as they stood there. By the way, what the fvck was up with that question? If they’d all promised to put away their copy of the see and say speller when told about an Al-Quaida attack, I would have been happy.

John Edwards looked lackluster last night. Now, I’m never a huge fan of his but on the stump he usually weaves his homespun charm like Charlotte does her web. Last night, however, he looked tired and out of sorts. I did appreciate his handling of the haircut question. Basically, Johnny-boy says yes he’s rich, bitch but don’t get it twisted; you don’t know where he came from! He’s from the hard scrapple streets of working class textile America and he has the inferiority complex to prove it.

Chris Dodd. Was he there? I can barely remember. I looked over my notes and I only see one reference. Can we consider him done?

Dennis Kucinich. Poor, poor Dennis Kucinich. He has some great ideas. He is passionate about service and politics. The man carries a copy of the constitution in his pocket for God’s sake! He’s a patriot! But he also tossed out some mumbo jumbo on never making war and he looks like Rainman’s uncool step-brother. He doesn’t stand a chance but he came out strong last night and give the man his due: he does not fear being the odd guy out. That speaks to a serious delusion or some pretty hefty reserves of courage.

The Senator from Illinois was looking fine. However, he stumbled in places and never gave any great soundbite answers for that all important post-debate spin. On the upside he didn’t allow himself to be cornered or attacked much and he looked the part. It is obvious he has studied the particulars of foreign policy though as multi-syllabled names rolled from his tongue like sweet wine when he was inevitably given a question about our allies and enemies abroad.

Joe Biden looked every bit the elder statesman as he tossed out Arabic names like fastballs and rattled of minute details of some bill or initiative. The man has chops and they should not be taken lightly. It’s a damn shame America has shown a collective disdain for smart guys though. You’ll see his brilliant one word answer of “yes” replayed everywhere so I won’t ruin it for you. It was one of the most memorable moments of the night. If that’s how you’re keeping score then many of today’s talking heads are right: he “won”.

Hillary did exactly what she came to do. She didn’t get sidetracked, no one attacked her and she’s almost mastered the art of mimicking the cadence of a human being. Seriously, I do not dislike Hillary…at all. She’s just not my choice in the primary and I don’t think she can win the general. But she does have that peculiar white woman oratorical disorder where they get higher-pitched and shrill at the end of a sentence. It’s the damndest thing I’ve ever seen. She modulated that well most of the night, got off the fact that she is experienced at least a half dozen times and looked solid. I don’t know how well her explanation of her vote for war went over though. But she didn’t sway anyone. If you loved her before you still do. If you hated her before you can go back to attaching human hair to your voodoo doll. She is still Hillary Clinton.

Bill Richardson, I thought, was extremely natural and engaging on the stage. He made more than few salient points about foreign affairs – you know the man’s been nominated for the Nobel, right? – and showed a depth and breadth of understanding about complex issues. He did not shy away from pointed, tough questions. When asked about his initial reluctance to hang Alberto Gonzalez out to dry because he is Hispanic he manned up and said he said it and he meant it. It was the most honest moment of the night. Damn shame that honesty doesn’t sell, but I, for one, appreciated it.

I also appreciated that he was the ONLY candidate to mention the Darfur and Sudan during his spiel on foreign policy. The other candidates conveniently forgot the largest damn continent in the planet when discussing global affairs.

And now that you’ve got the highlights, here’s my spin/predications/strategy discussion:

Clinton, Edwards and Obama did not have to razzle dazzle last night. They are already ahead. They just did not have to fuck up and I do not think any of them did.

Would it be good for the populace if they had been more engaging, perhaps? But the populace is a fickly heffa on Motrin; you can’t always give her what she wants if you aim to give her what she needs.

So they did what they had to do.

And all of these Republicans knighting Hillary the winner? They bring to mind the creepy guy who offers free candy if you’ll come over to watch cartoons. It’s a set up people. Nothing would make these people happier than to run against Hillary in the election. If they say she won, you better question why that would make them so damn happy.

I did not like Hillary calling the Senator by his first name. Up to that point everyone had been formally addressed but she calls out, “Barack.” And now this may be a peculiarity of my racial identity but something in the way she said his name made clear to me that she wasn’t use to calling it. She calls that man something else at home and it ain’t as nice as “Rock”, I guarantee. It sounded oddly intimate and condescending to me.

Not to be outdone, though, Barack called her “Hillary”, leveling that little playing field. I can’t imagine there wasn’t some underlying dynamic at play in that exchange.

Biden seemed much more sincere when he addressed Mr. Obama and talked about them working together on an emissions bill. In fact, it sounded so right that I am once again fantasizing of an Obama/Biden ticket.

Obama and Hillary will never happen. Obama and Edwards would be stupid. If you have an issue with Obama’s relative youth and inexperience then you should really have an issue with Edwards’. And if I’m voting on intangibles I’ll take the real McCoy. Edwards is just a color-inverted facsimile.

Chris Matthews fawned incessantly over how beautiful and classy Michelle Obama looked. I think my man had taken too big a bite out of that S.C. State atmosphere!

Speaking of wives, where did Kucinich find that one of his? She’s like 12! Beautiful redhead with an accent – anyone else thinking we should be able to find a credit card purchase for Russian Hotties R Us?

So, not much changed the dynamic last night but it was entertaining to see the dynamics, if you’re into that sort of thing.

I’m still confident with all of my predictions:

- Biden or Richardson will either go bust or break free in the next six months
-Hillary and Obama will continue to tread water until around September which is when the gloves will come off. They’ll both be bloodied but Hillary will eventually be faced with the realities of a party that wants to win and she’ll end up doing what’s right for the party just to keep a seat at the table.
- The real contest may well come down to Obama and Edwards. You can’t underestimate Edwards’ success in early primary states like Iowa. But he’s vulnerable on a great many issues and I don’t know if he can go the distance. In fact, I already see him angling for a vice-president nom.
- Gravel will father my babies and will keep us all up at night with impromptu nuclear attack drills
- It’s early yet but I see an Obama/Biden or Obama/Richardson ticket. If Hillary wins the nomination I’ll be outside my house making Molotov cocktails and planning for the revolution

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Debate -- Part Two -- Raw Copy

Note: Raw copy denotes that this is published as I wrote it while simultaneously watching the debate, mixing dirty martinis and fielding hilarious phone calls from my mother. I'll be editing and summarizing later. But I thought you might enjoy seeing how my mind works.

The Non-Iraq Foreign Policy segment

First to Obama is a question about who are our biggest allies, surely meant to test his knowledge of the landscape. I held my breath and he did well. He acknowledges NATO, EU, Japan and possibly China in economic issues. He manages thee follow up about that "no one has suffered more than the Palestinian people" quote issue.

But of course, as expected, Biden speaks on it with the ease of someone who has met all of the people he's talking about.

Gravel says we don't have enemies. I ain't never scared!!! We need to treat the world like equals. I'm sure this man is making excellent points but I swear to god I'd stun gun his ass if i saw him on an airplane with me.

OK, I like Edwards well articulated concept of influencing the culture of our "enemies" by supporting education, clean water and health issues to redefine ourselves as a culture that people want to emulate. I'm on board with that. And he mentioned micro-financing, one of the best little ideas ever had.

Being stubborn is not a foreign policy, Bill Richardson. Icon please. He's also the first and only one to mention Darfur!!!! "Why doesn't America care about Africa", he says!! GOD BLESS BILL RICHARDSON.

Dennis once again shows a good handle on the details and how unafraid he is of being the odd man out when he is the only one not to raise his hand in response to "who here believes there is such a thing as a global war on terror."

Senator Obama gets some complex mumbo jumbo hypothetical question about two cities are attacked simultaneously while we're here and it's terrorism. how do you change our foreign military position to address it?!!! get the fuck out of here? who gets that with one minute to answer? that's not fair. He responds well but not extremely detailed.

Oh, OK, Edwards gets it too. They both reference the importance of good intelligence and a lack of real homeland security.

Did you know Hillary was a senator during 9/11? Well she was. If we were attacked she would retaliate, swiftly. See Jane with cajones!

Dennis says he keeps a copy of the constitution in his pocket. To prove it he whipped it out. Gravel slipped a hand in his waistband on the low-low till he saw it was just a harmless, gutted document. Kucinich says he'll impeach Cheney if he has violated it because he took an oath to defend the Constitution. Yeah, he said it. Go for it Dennis. There is at least one person running for President who knows the Constitution, he says.

Dodd on gay marriage vs. civil unions. He says think about your children and how would you like them to be treated: good, logical way to filter his feelings on this issue. Matches my views. Protect rights without discrimination. he supports civil unions, not marriage. I like his commitment and clarity on the issue.

Biden has a green plan. He said it quickly in detail so I know he does. I did catch that he and Obama coauthored an emissions bill. Move from dependence on foreign oil, that's his basic plan -- or the only thing i caught, whatever.

Oh, c'mon! Give me Gravel back!!! It's been like twenty minutes.

Bill wants to plan for a post Castro Cuba which i think means reconsidering trade with them which I'm all for. Punishing brown people indiscriminately just cause he doesn't have oil or diamonds is so last century.

There's Gravel! We're mischaracterizating terrorism. It's always existed, always will. Fighting it is like the war on drugs, a fool's mission. He's got a point that. this invasion has created more terrorists he says. Ol' Gravel is my kind of drunk - he gets more lucid the drunker he gets.





Wait, wait!! there's a Dennis v Obama smack down! Obama says he Iraq is forming weapons and we have to deal with that! he's coming out. Dennis is coming back at it. Back too crazy Gravel? Who the hell are we going to NUKE, Barack, he screams.

Barack says hold up, I ain't bout to Nuke nobody man!!! Don't get froggy cause I will jump! Uh oh! He came out strategically by the way. After that what would you do if two cities were attacked question he had to say something "tough" and this was his offensive swing. the thing is, that'll be played on the news for the next three or four days. nice move.

Edwards prays everyday to his Lord and his wife or something.

Hillary on the real issue! WAL MART, good or evil!!! I like these questions. Mixed bag she says. That ho ain't never needed two dollar cereal or healthcare so Idon't much trust her on this issue. She's right that the middle class is invisible to the white house and corporate elite -- but,um, ain't she the corporate elite? i know she's got them on speed dial for sho'.

GREAT question about the survival of the Democratic Party to Biden! Are the Dems making themselves irrelevant and is there a true presidential winner on the stage? he says he sees a whole stage of winners and the Republicans don't won't none with Hillary. And a parting shot to Gravel and Kucinich: Stop the no war "happy talk" he says!

And it's over.

I'ma about to give you the best summation you will hear anywhere:

This was not about a candidate; this was about the Democratic party.

this is a party willing to compromise to win. this whole debate was about selling the fact that we are better than the republican party. they are going to choose the winners. Ifeel better about that.

Debate - Part One - Raw copy

with fifteen minutes to show time the candidates are shown on-stage. I should get out of the way how hella fine I think Obama looks up there...or anywhere for that matter.

*whew*

With that bit of business out of the way, let's get to it shall we?

I'll be talking impressions, intangibles, and high points should there be any. I figure folks can get blow-by-blow details elsewhere. But who but me is going to get personal?

Breaking News: Jack Valenti, former LBJ aide, has died. I have no idea who he is but Tom Brokaw and Chris give the impression of a short man with a mastery of politics both formal and social. Godspeed.

Now, back to the debate.

We've got an image of all the candidates on the set again. Looks like Obama's podium is in the center of the stage.

Relax, everyone. I'm sure it was ordered alphabetically.

And now pan the beautiful brown people and....

IT'S ON!!!

Seeing all of those brown kids makes my stomach flop. I'm a bit emotional. Somebody pass me my martini.

Earliest campaign season ever.

Bill Richardson is caught with his mouth hanging open like Biz Markie during his introduction.

Again, who IS Mike Gravel (Gruh-VEL, btw)?

Does anyone trust that Biden will pay those caution lights a bit of attention?

The rules demand 30 second responses?!!! Have these people ever MET a politician?

Mike is all up under his podium? Did someone pat him down? What better way to become infamous than to pull a gat on stage?

First question to Hillary about Sen. Reid's statements regarding Iraq being lost. Does she agree? She's a Senator, we will fund the troops and protect them and start to bring them home. So, basically she's not going to answer the question.

For the record, Hillary is wearing heathered gray with a black crew cut shirt.

Biden says, same question, this is not a game show! He's swinging! Bush is misguided, he says!
Oh God, Obama is fine.

Sorry.

But there was an unexpected wide shot and, well...

Obama wants you to know that he opposed this war from the start, but he votes for appropriations to support our young people on the ground.

He's the first with an "I met a man/woman/child somewhere" story. I dunno man.

Edwards - tell us again why you apologized for your vote in support for the war. Edwards did not shy away from it though. good response. He says, hey, if you voted for it you're going to have to search your own soul, Hillary included! wow! he's gonna get slapped for that one.

But he still doesn't resonate with me.

Hillary: takes responsibility for her vote for the war. if i knew then what i know now, blah, blah, back on talking points.

Kucinich says hey, stop funding the war! strong point of view. He has a bill -- HR1234? um, OK. i'ma get on that. bless his heart. he looks like one of the M&M people. but he's going after Hillary and Edwards! WOW! if you voted for the war, own up to it! don't be no punk, he says.

Bill says let's be clear: this war is a disaster...pull them all by the end of the calendar year. intensive diplomacy in three areas. he lost me on them but I'm sure they're on his website. sounds comprehensive though.. ii can't, however, vet the viability of them. I've heard him speak on it before though.

Chris Dodd makes a nice, clear soundbite on the policy being flawed, not the troops. this should become a Democratic mantra. it sells well.

OK, so, Mike Gravel is an angry man with nothing to lose from Alaska with a history of ending the funding for the Vietnam War. He's kind of scary, actually. I think he's about to start throwing spittle around. He's foaming a bit. Not a crazy point, but he sounded crazy saying it.

Perhaps it is an attempt at not making a mistake, but Obama is stuttering and halting. I was afraid of that. I've seen him that way before. However, he rebounds well but he's not sparkling. Maybe that's the strategy? And I'm positive he didn't answer the question. However, Hillary cosigned with a "Barack is right". Maybe I want her to address him formally? Looks liker the lead players are towing the party line.

that questionable donor bullshit with that Obama donor shit. Obama says he has too many donors to track everyone. he denounced this guy. he proposed campaign ethics reform. i don't take money from lobbyists and PACs. you better recognize.

uh oh. is this gonna be a haircut issue for Edwards? uh oh!

why did you pay for your haircut with campaign funds?! wow!

Edwards: am i rich, bitch? yes. but it's not where i come from. don't sleep. and out comes the homespun wisdom. he tells a story about his father taking the family out to eat and having to leave after his father saw the prices. they was po'. the accent is now as thick as my oatmeal. my daddy was born a poor black child from...wait. OK.

but it's a damn fine response.

that's real.


Bill Richardson mans up nicely when asked about his reticence to disavow a Alberto Gonzalez, a fellow Mexican American. he wanted to give him a chance to explain himself, when he did and finding himself still unsatisfied he called for Gonzalez's resignation

But, yeah, i said it and i meant it! What? I'm no "blow dried" perfect candidate. Well, OK, then. I sense a jab at Edwards.

Dennis, why ain't nobody paying you no never mind? Poor Dennis. He says this isn't American Idol, here. in 2003 my friends up here made the wrong decision on the e war and an apology is not enough. you make an excellent point Dennis. Damn shame, that comb over.

Nice response from Biden!! In response to an attack on his verbosity and does he have thee discipline for the national stage he says, "yes." period. nice laugh from the audience.

NICE!

who is this Mike Gravel? he says some of these people up here frighten him? He's screaming about Nukes? Oh shit!!! who's got Nukes on stage?!!!!!!!

A follow-up question from Brian, "who scares you?" Gravel's response: Joe[Biden], you're arrogant. the top tier scares me.

he's pointing and foaming. what the hot fuck?

This is AWESOME TV1!!

Joe Biden is strongly in favor of Roe v Wade.

Obama handled the abortion question nimbly by putting the focus on prevention, something no one can argue with. that's obama's strong point -- reframing issues in a way that makes them unassailable. that's something the Right has patented so i likes.

Chris's Dodd supported Roberts for the Supreme Court bench. I no likey. He says Roberts just lied about what he would do when nominated.

There will be a wonderful snapshot tomorrow of the candidate's who have owned a gun in their adult lives with their hand raised on stage. What you might not see is the time delay where some of them waited to make sure they weren't the only one.

Hillary makes it clear that she had a universal health plan first and she has the experience. She makes a good point about this being about more than the uninsured but controlling costs for all those insured.

Why are you in SC when the NAACP has a tourism boycott going on? James Clyburn invited us, says Biden.

Obama addresses the confederate flag issue -- put it in a museum -- but the issues we're voting on are too important not to engage the voters in South Carolina.

Gravel says you're not paying me enough attention! I'm not a potted plant. And a Reagan quote. This dude is on bourbon.

Obama references his wife and then he goes on to regret a bill that intruded on Terry Schiavo's rights. Nice response.

Overestimating the ability of this administration and underestimating its arrogance -- Biden gets a gold star for properly finessing the old school "what is your greatest weakness" interview question by making it about Bush, not him. NICE.

The issue of our yawning brain drain is one of my pet issues. Biden makes a good response, a quick response, suggesting he's thought about it: pay for better teachers, fundamentally change how we educate, put our money where our mouth is. Biden wins on that one.

The Green and gas question: Edwards has a good sound bite. We should ask people to be patriotic about something other than war. We need to conserve.

Another one the Party should co-opt.
Why is Keith Olberman speaking in rugby clichés? Who the fuck is watching rugby? I guess the same people saving crown royal bags, huh, bitch. Oh. I'm sorry. I was talking to the voices, well...forget it.

All of the speculation is how bloody will Barack and Hillary get? Will it be polished in a thin veneer of civility and sportsmanship or will one or the other of them take the gloves off?

These boys are feenin’. Trust me -- getting ugly this far out would be suicide and Hill and Rock both like living too much for that. Please.

And they can only get ugly with Barack if he engages them. The possibility is greater with Hill given her history, but these boys don't want to look like they're ganging up on her. She's perfected that "I’m just a girl" vibe when attacked.

Tricky dicky.

Mark Penn, Clinton advisor, Chris calls him one of the smartest people around. He also says that of Reverend Al so I believe him.

How will Hill support her vote for the war? Penn thinks she'll make it plain -- yeah, like she has so many times before. /sarcasm

Chris accuses Mark of trying to lowball expectations for Hillary.

"Where's Bill Clinton?" Chris asks.

Bill has been sent to Russia.

Oh god!!! Don't let him come home with a mail order bride.

How scared were they that Bill might upstage Hill? Russia?

Damn homie.

Chris just asked, "What's Hillary wearing tonight?" C'mon Chris? When the fuck did you become Joan Rivers?

These white men are foaming at the mouth over "there's a woman! A Hispanic! A black guy!"

Dear god. Someone tell them they still control the majority of the wealth. They can relax.

Looks like Clinton and Obama will be standing next to each other on the stage. Why do they keep acting like Obama might throw a punch? Even if he did lose his damn mind I’d put fifty on Hillary to win. That heffa ain't no punk.

Chris makes it clear that Obama is within spitting distance of winning. He's poking Penn who names four other polls that put Hillary ahead and Obama going down. Basically he says, "Chris your poll ain't shit!"
Chris is joined by house democratic whip, James Clyburn, a State alumnus.

You’ve done us a favor bringing us here.

Why was it important to debate here?

The state is in transition in so many ways. He talks about the Orangeburg massacre and how Kent State overshadowed that. This debate turns the page and helps us move forward.

Q: why were they killed by the police?

um. They were black and Jim Crow was scratching his balls? They were protesting at a swimming pool and the cops murdered 3 students.

Ii felt it was time for us to break out of a 39-year funk out of that murder.

A surprise?

Two old classmates of James. Good-looking pimping.

His nickname back in school was senator - he was a diplomat. Nice story.

Chris has the impassionate view about that peculiar southern institution that comes with being both from the north and pragmatic. I like that about him. He approaches these issues with no flowery language, no picture of his best black friend.

Why is he letting old black men tell stories about the good ol' days? That can never go well.

He has pics of the whip from a toga party?!!! Oh lawd1!!

A big whoop from the crowd.

Keith Olberman is up next.

That drum corps looks good!



Let me tell you why I love blackfolk. See: the opening sequence of Hardball's College Tour at SC State. The band kicked off with, I think, “Get up on that good foot."


They ain't never seen nothing like it in politics. Chris knows it turned him out. I wanted a camera shot when the Marching 101 put the stank on that funk.

Notice Elizabeth is there because she understands the good funk. I think I even noted her tapping a foot.

Thick dancers? A fold above the bootie shorts? A drum major that does tricks? I love my people man. And Chris Matthews gets a pass when the revolution kicks off.

A big cheer from the crowd in response to Chris’s suggestion that we care about "getting us out of Iraq". A "do you think hurricane Katrina was handled well" gets a loud, resolute “no” from the crowd! Chris is playing to them like a man who knows what call and response is all about. Cab Calloway is somewhere crying tears of blue magic and joy.


Praise Chris for pointing out how quickly Bush got his ass to Virginia Tech but took days to get to New Orleans. I want to have this man’s mini-pundits.

A go ‘head to Elizabeth for pointing out how Elizabeth Smart got attention cause she was blonde but brown children that went missing during the same time got no media or federal love. She speaks on such issues without stuttering, proving to me again that she's the one who should be running. I like her much more than I do her husband.

The question: What would your husband have done differently in New Orleans?

Elizabeth: He'da been there immediately, that's his style. She says "black" without shaking. She does her husband well. Would have gone to straight to the problem, not all around Mississippi but not New Orleans. You can’t fix major issues without getting into the midst of them.

The question: How does John compete in the excitement competition?

(Big cheers from the crowd for Hillary, slightly larger - but not markedly so -- for Barack...well, I take that back. It's more extended.)

Question: How do you compete with that Liz? That historic excitement?

Elizabeth points out that you didn’t ask who’s supporting Edwards!

Question: How many people for Edwards?

(a cursory cheer, somewhat long but can kids on weed be trusted? They'd shout out for DJ UNK for god's sake. )

Elizabeth: Excitement doesn't matter. Remember dean? People looked past the excitement to decide on policy.

Back to the crowd: How many people here are going to vote?

Big cheer.

No noise for "who's not going to vote?"

Who cheers to their ignorance? C'mon now.

Who gave these kids these signs? Ii hope they got some credit on their cafe accounts for this. Don't be pimping these kids!!!

Back to the Cab Calloway response.

Question: How many have health insurance? These kids know. They know when they can’t get a scrip for Norplant.

Question: Who supports a universal health plan? A big cheer and a quasi-"Edwards" chant

Chris loves Elizabeth… a lot. He comments on her “cherubic face”? Best spokesperson you can have for a candidate, he says. I might have to concur. She's warmer than I’ve seen Michelle Obama play.

I'm seeing lots of chicks in this crowd. Is this indicative of the belief that women are more progressive and involved in our communities or is the cameraman a perv?

________

Ok, a camera span of thee back of those cheerleaders decides: the cameraman is a brother or a perv.

Man in the audience commentary? Quite brave for live tv

Yes, we know it's important that students vote. But what, pray tell, is going to motivate them to do so en masse?

Chris says he's happy!! And he wants you to know that he feels somethting in thte air.. I think chris has been sipping from the crown royal bag.

Would you consider office Elizabeth? Absolutely not. I’m too old!!! Maybe someone should tell the young sister that Elizabeth may not live that long. :(

Pay gaps? Good question darling. "Equal pay day" was yesterday? Does that come with a check? I didn't get mine. Ain't I a woman, damnit?!

83 cents to a dollar? That gap is greater if you're black btw. I want someone on an HBCU to turn the issues to race-centric inequalities.

John has a working wife and daughter about to go out into the real world. Equal pay is important cause he'll hear about it at home.

The band is playing Oscar-time with Chris. They start playing on cue whether homebody has finished talking or not. Chris is so caught up in the rythym he doesn't even care that they just out-Chrised him.

Do these kids know this isn't Spring Bling?


****

Tom Brokaw. One of the last real journalists.

I'd like to point out that he agrees with my earlier assertion that this debate is about image and likeability. It's far too early for seven point plans on policy.

Take that Yobachi.

You don't know...what? Oh....this is a family post.

I also agree with Mr. Brokaw that everyone will be gunning for Barack, not Hillary. They want to "haze" him, see if he's easy to crack.

They know Hill is too practiced and experienced to bow under pressure. Barack is the untested one.

Question: Will this be a big moment for Barack?

Mr. Brokaw: We're a lot like sportswriters before the Superbowl. We don't know. We're just speculating. He is, however, at ease with himself and has a command of the language. It's a mistake to think he's an untried rookie. He's been out there, handling difficult questions. He'll be very well prepared.

Give Them Something To Talk About

Tonight marks the very first Presidential debate. In what looks to be a marathon two-year race, this is the candidates’ first opportunity to screw themselves.

Looking at the field I think a major faux pas is way more likely than a timeless quip a la Ronald Reagan.

But I’m looking forward to it nonetheless. For laymen historians and social scientists this debate promises a treasure trove of dynamics. You have a viable woman with a sordid past and a legacy to protect. You have a Black American man in a country where race is still the most divisive issue. Throw in a Southerner with a dying wife, a biracial man of Mexican descent, and a foreign policy wonk who loves to hear himself talk and this could be the political version of Laugh-in! It’s brilliant people!

Things I’ll be looking for:

- As one of the youngest and arguably the most charismatic personality on the dais, Obama could make everyone else look like rotting fish-belly corpses. I should hope all the white men got their Mystic Tan on.
- Biden could very well talk himself into an anaphylactic shock. No one, of course, will save him and we’ll have our first “talked himself to death” moment in live TV history
- Look for Hillary to stand wide so as to camouflage the fact that she has the biggest balls on the stage. She’ll be playing demure and womanly. The men on the stage run the risk of looking like trailer park wife beaters if they come after her too strongly, thus hamstringing their efforts to legitimately engage the forerunner.
- I expect John Edwards to turn his accent up a notch and to have a side-eye bang that will make me weepy for Aaliyah all over again.
- Obama will ignore the people to his left and to his right (cause one of those mofos won’t be there come graduation) and will speak directly to the audience…and the camera. This will piss everyone off so badly that I fully expect a “who does this Negro think he is” Don Imus moment. Wouldn’t that be FAB?!!!!
- There’ll be little policy detail and here’s why that’s ok with me:

All of these folks who bemoan the lack of policy details from presidential candidates are woefully naive or perfectly predatory, depending on their intent. We are TWO years away from the general election. What kind of fool lays out a 28 point plan on ANYTHING and then allows his enemy two years to dissect it, form a 501C to undermine it, and Karl Rove to make it a federal crime?

Look, I’m as big on policy as the next educated voter but I want to win. If that means taking your word a few things, I’m willing to do that. So long as you don’t make me want to throw holy water at the screen like W, I’ma give you the benefit of the doubt.

And logistically speaking, who can promise me anything with a two-year curve? Anything can happen in the next 24 months and I appreciate a candidate that says, “Look, I’ll weigh important issues as they unfold.”

Just show me you’re smart enough to grasp big concepts and that you have the willingness to read a book about those issues you don’t get and I’m pretty much gonna ride with you.

This debate is less about policy and more about appearing presidential. That’s all the presidential race is ever really about? Want to change that? Want it to be more substantive? Fine. I support that. But can we do it AFTER we’ve elected a President who doesn’t get drunk and wait for God to tell him what to do?

So if the debate has to be light on policy and substance – which, if the Democratic party has any sense of self-preservation, it will be – can I get just one of the candidates to commit to providing entertainment value?

One of the cast-offs, perhaps? A Sanjayaya comedic darkhorse as it were? Maybe Dodd could flip Hillary off and grab his nut sack? Or perhaps Kucinich (really? President Kucinich?) could wax poetic about Obama’s ability to speak both English AND Ebonics? Mike Gravel (really? Mike Gravel? Who the hot fvck is this guy?) could pat Hill on the ass and tell her he always thought Bill was a fool for not tapping that right?

I’m just saying…give the people what they want. And I want some memorable moments, damnit!

All in all, it should be fun kiddies.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Follow the Money and Wait for the Call

I believe it was All The Kings Men where I first heard “follow the money”. Ol’ Deep Throat had a point then and today he would sound brilliant as pundits went nuts over the release of first quarter fundraising numbers from wanna-be presidential candidates.

Hillary Clinton lived up to the prowess suggested in her surname with a record-breaking $26 million dollars. To put that in perspective, seven years ago during the ’00 election $6 million was considered earth shattering. Do keep in mind though that she came in with about $4 million from her Senate campaign and – let’s keep it real – homegirl has been running for President for six years.

Mitt Romney showed and proved with a surprising $23 million. Again, for perspective, stand outside on the corner and see how many people you have to ask before you find one who knows who Mitt Romney is and where he is from.

Yeah.

The Obama camp, in a crafty PR move, decided to keep mum and give the day to Clinton and Co. However, some are suggesting he is in the $20 million range. Perspective check: he has refused donations from lobbyists and PACs. No one else in the race can say they turned away money.

But what does all of this mean?

Well, it means that size definitely matters. Here, the apparatus on the line are war chests – the amount of cash each campaign has to buy the all important airtime to worry the hell out of us between now and next year.

It is also a mental game. Everyone wants a piece of a potential winner so coming out early with returns that say “these many” think you can win, encourages others to jump on board.

It also generates press and that elusive “buzz”.

I expect that Obama’s campaign will announce tomorrow and the figure will be enough to have Hillary spanking Bill’s bare bottom. Things were not supposed to happen this way for the junior Senator from New York.

Barring one dazzling DNC speech and an amazing grassroots effort she was supposed to be coasting to the nomination.

Competition, though, is good – if only for the American people.

I don’t mind the money so much. Hey, I got five on Obama! My first monetary political donation EVER.

I do mind being taken for granted. If nothing else, each candidate now has to work a little bit harder to reach, not just across the party line, but also to the assumed “party faithful”.

I am expecting my first call any day now.