A handy little list of who's in and who's out, courtesy of yahoo.
Democrats
Officially announced (date of announcement)
• Former North Carolina Sen.
John Edwards' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> John Edwards (Dec. 28, 2006)
• Retiring Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack (Nov. 30, 2006)
• Ohio Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich (news, bio, voting record) (Dec. 12, 2006)
• Former Alaska Sen. Mike Gravel (April 17, 2006)
Established exploratory committee (date of filing with the
Federal Election Commission' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> Federal Election Commission)
• None to date
Widely mentioned
• Delaware Sen. Joseph R. Biden (news, bio, voting record) Jr.
• Retired Gen.
Wesley Clark' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> Wesley Clark of Arkansas
• New York Sen.
Hillary Rodham Clinton' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> Hillary Rodham Clinton
• Connecticut Sen. Christopher J. Dodd (news, bio, voting record)
• Former Vice President
Al Gore' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> Al Gore of Tennessee
• Massachusetts Sen.
John Kerry' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> John Kerry
• Illinois Sen. Barack Obama
• New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson
Officially not running (date of announcement)
• Former Virginia Gov. Mark Warner (Oct. 12, 2006)
• Wisconsin Sen. Russ Feingold (news, bio, voting record) (Nov. 11, 2006
• Indiana Sen. Evan Bayh (news, bio, voting record) (Dec. 15, 2006)
Republicans
Officially announced
• None to date
Established exploratory committee (date of filing with the Federal Election Commission)
• Attorney John H. Cox of Illinois (Feb. 13, 2006)
• Arizona Sen. John McCain (news, bio, voting record) (Nov. 16, 2006)
• Former New York City
Mayor Rudolph Giuliani' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> Mayor Rudolph Giuliani (Nov. 20, 2006)
• Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback (news, bio, voting record) (Dec. 1, 2006)
• Former Wisconsin Gov. Tommy G. Thompson (Dec. 13, 2006)
• Former Virginia Gov. James S. Gilmore III (announced intention to form exploratory committee on Dec. 20, 2006)
Widely mentioned
• Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich of Georgia
• Nebraska Sen. Chuck Hagel (news, bio, voting record)
• Retiring Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee
• California Rep. Duncan Hunter (news, bio, voting record)
• Retiring New York Gov. George E. Pataki
• Retiring Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney
• Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo
Officially not running (date of announcement)
• Retiring Tennessee Sen. Bill Frist (news, bio, voting record) (Nov. 29, 2006)
Umm, I thought Joe Biden had, unequivocally, entered the race?
Now, I like Biden because I'm a sucker for nerd boys. I love them and Biden is a foreign policy geek. No expensive suit can counteract that level of intelligence and breadth of knowledge.
However, I do not think he can win. He has limited name recognition, and this after decades in the Senate. And in case you haven't been paying attention: smart doesn't exactly sell in this country.
Biden is the guy a smart President hires, but he is not a President.
Vilsack? Kucinich? Get the heck outta here!
Dems? You better be listening. I will personally knock on the door of every colored person between here and Oakland if you nominate someone, nice though they may be, who doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of winning.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Pretty Boy Failure
John Edwards declares his candidacy.
For those who don't know, I am a North Carolinian so my feelings about John Edwards are extremely well-researched and nuanced.
Who is this guy and why does he keep popping up on my TV?
I mean, yes, he's rich, but contrary to what Hollywood would have you believe, there are a lot of rich people in the country. And he may indeed be smart. Carolina, after all, isn't known for turning out complete idiots – that's Duke's gig. And he's cute if you like those androgynous, freakishly upbeat Stuart Smalley types, but I am not impressed.
Let me explain something about the psyche of the American people. Collectively, we're a nation of beer drinking, sideline spectators. We like to WIN! We like to think of ourselves as winners, the facts of our diminishing role in global politics and economics be damned. We are the fuckin' U S of A and we'll do whatever it takes to win: steroids, a little dirt in your eye, a hollowed out bat, preemptive war strikes. Why? Cause white Jesus deemed us the chosen ones and we will whup yo' ass in the name of Christianity, apple pie and country music.
That's why poor little John doesn't stand much chance. He's a loser. Period.
His name will forever be attached to a losing ticket and he's not kick ass enough to separate himself from the stench of failure.
Having said that, there are also the issues of him having a very light political record, almost no stated policy positions and his youthful inexperience. Or do those things only matter when you're black? I get confused.
On one thing, however, I'm pretty clear: Edwards has a better shot of joining a black fraternity and leading a train in a step show than he does of winning the primary.
For those who don't know, I am a North Carolinian so my feelings about John Edwards are extremely well-researched and nuanced.
Who is this guy and why does he keep popping up on my TV?
I mean, yes, he's rich, but contrary to what Hollywood would have you believe, there are a lot of rich people in the country. And he may indeed be smart. Carolina, after all, isn't known for turning out complete idiots – that's Duke's gig. And he's cute if you like those androgynous, freakishly upbeat Stuart Smalley types, but I am not impressed.
Let me explain something about the psyche of the American people. Collectively, we're a nation of beer drinking, sideline spectators. We like to WIN! We like to think of ourselves as winners, the facts of our diminishing role in global politics and economics be damned. We are the fuckin' U S of A and we'll do whatever it takes to win: steroids, a little dirt in your eye, a hollowed out bat, preemptive war strikes. Why? Cause white Jesus deemed us the chosen ones and we will whup yo' ass in the name of Christianity, apple pie and country music.
That's why poor little John doesn't stand much chance. He's a loser. Period.
His name will forever be attached to a losing ticket and he's not kick ass enough to separate himself from the stench of failure.
Having said that, there are also the issues of him having a very light political record, almost no stated policy positions and his youthful inexperience. Or do those things only matter when you're black? I get confused.
On one thing, however, I'm pretty clear: Edwards has a better shot of joining a black fraternity and leading a train in a step show than he does of winning the primary.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
And a Merry Christmas-Kwanzaa-Festivus To You!
With the smell of Rove's chestnuts roasting on an open fire, I wish you all a wonderful holiday season.
I also suggest that you rest up. Unless you are one of the 90% of the population that watches more Flavor of Love than nightly news, you probably know that January 1st marks the dawning of the mighty political season.
Somewhere in the distance I can just about make out Hillary's attempt to banish Bill's wayward balls into a time released chastity belt. Not to be outdone, McCain is having his wooden arm sprayed for termites while anticipating the very necessary, patently non-gay ass reaming from Falwell needed to earn the Righteous Right.
And way beyond that, if you listen closely while properly inebriated, you can hear Michelle spritzing her aerodynamic 'do with Dark and Lovely Holding Spray as she fights Hawaii's humidity and the paparazzi stalking her husband. Oblivious to it all, Obama is playing multi-cultural dozens with the fam and writing his acceptance speech.
In honor of the season I have upped my cable package so as not to miss one moment of Chris Matthews, Jon Stewart, or Bill Mahr.
Until then I promise not to stab any wayward family members over dinner. You should do the same.
I don't think you get the internets in the joint.
I also suggest that you rest up. Unless you are one of the 90% of the population that watches more Flavor of Love than nightly news, you probably know that January 1st marks the dawning of the mighty political season.
Somewhere in the distance I can just about make out Hillary's attempt to banish Bill's wayward balls into a time released chastity belt. Not to be outdone, McCain is having his wooden arm sprayed for termites while anticipating the very necessary, patently non-gay ass reaming from Falwell needed to earn the Righteous Right.
And way beyond that, if you listen closely while properly inebriated, you can hear Michelle spritzing her aerodynamic 'do with Dark and Lovely Holding Spray as she fights Hawaii's humidity and the paparazzi stalking her husband. Oblivious to it all, Obama is playing multi-cultural dozens with the fam and writing his acceptance speech.
In honor of the season I have upped my cable package so as not to miss one moment of Chris Matthews, Jon Stewart, or Bill Mahr.
Until then I promise not to stab any wayward family members over dinner. You should do the same.
I don't think you get the internets in the joint.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Black, but Not Like Me?
Black, but Not Like Me?
WASHINGTON (AFP) - US political darling Barack Obama has received enthusiastic support for a possible 2008 presidential bid -- except from fellow African-Americans, a group many believed would be among his staunchest backers.
Oh, really now?
I am always amazed at the five or ten black people that get to speak for ALL blackfolks. Stanley may well be a nice enough fellow but I don't know him or his people so his opinion? As representative of mine as Condi's hair helmet is of my own luscious 'do.
To be fair, I have seen this cautious optimism and borderline disdain for Obama first hand, but this story in no way captures why so many of us feel the way we do. There are several factions at work in our communities.
There are the old-schoolers who think "black politics" have to be combative and monolithic to be effective. Most of those folks owe their own jobs and livelihoods to that kind of sheepherding loud talking so that is to be expected. They are a dying breed and they don't have my vote to sell for a cushy job anymore so I find them irrelevant.
Then you have those self-hating blackfolks, very much like the Uncle Rukus character from the Boondocks comic strip, who don't understand why us darkies always got to cause so much trouble seein' how nice massa been to us'n. They are sad and funny kind like a fatal car crash is funny and should be prevented from voting by lethal injection if necessary, but they are no threat.
I've seen the faction of us who want Obama to "prove" something to them. They are distrustful of anyone that adored, that respected by the majority culture. These tend to be the same people who do not ask for the same level of proof from white elected officials. This is the "ghetto pass" mentality -- they want Obama to engage in some political dis track reminiscent of Nas and Jay Z so they can find him "genuinely black." Think: folks who actually know what the Chicken Noodle Soup dance is...and do it. Not my kind of folk, not because they don't love Obama but because they have a different threshold established for him than for his white counterparts.
Finally, I think there is a large group of black people who have lived long enough or studied enough history to know that getting your hopes up as a person of color in this country is a recipe for major disappointment. So they refrain from discussing this matter in mixed company, lest the whitefolks catch on to how we really feel and use it as a weapon to destroy the brother.
These are the same folks who know enough conspiracy theories have proven to be true, and so they worry Obama's safety and will believe it -- the possiblity of a black man in the White House -- when they see it. They are not disdainful of Obama but of a white dominant culture who makes sport of elevating people in general, black folks in particular, to exalted positions only to knock them down like a lifeless pinata.
In the end, the media and pollsters have yet to discover that we are not a monolithic group of people. Stanley Crouch no more speaks for me than Ann Coulter or Bill O'Reilly. Shared skin color do not a shared political ideology make.
But, as always, when presented with the choice of the devil we know and the devil we don't know, I'm betting we'll choose the devil that looks more like family.
WASHINGTON (AFP) - US political darling Barack Obama has received enthusiastic support for a possible 2008 presidential bid -- except from fellow African-Americans, a group many believed would be among his staunchest backers.
Oh, really now?
I am always amazed at the five or ten black people that get to speak for ALL blackfolks. Stanley may well be a nice enough fellow but I don't know him or his people so his opinion? As representative of mine as Condi's hair helmet is of my own luscious 'do.
To be fair, I have seen this cautious optimism and borderline disdain for Obama first hand, but this story in no way captures why so many of us feel the way we do. There are several factions at work in our communities.
There are the old-schoolers who think "black politics" have to be combative and monolithic to be effective. Most of those folks owe their own jobs and livelihoods to that kind of sheepherding loud talking so that is to be expected. They are a dying breed and they don't have my vote to sell for a cushy job anymore so I find them irrelevant.
Then you have those self-hating blackfolks, very much like the Uncle Rukus character from the Boondocks comic strip, who don't understand why us darkies always got to cause so much trouble seein' how nice massa been to us'n. They are sad and funny kind like a fatal car crash is funny and should be prevented from voting by lethal injection if necessary, but they are no threat.
I've seen the faction of us who want Obama to "prove" something to them. They are distrustful of anyone that adored, that respected by the majority culture. These tend to be the same people who do not ask for the same level of proof from white elected officials. This is the "ghetto pass" mentality -- they want Obama to engage in some political dis track reminiscent of Nas and Jay Z so they can find him "genuinely black." Think: folks who actually know what the Chicken Noodle Soup dance is...and do it. Not my kind of folk, not because they don't love Obama but because they have a different threshold established for him than for his white counterparts.
Finally, I think there is a large group of black people who have lived long enough or studied enough history to know that getting your hopes up as a person of color in this country is a recipe for major disappointment. So they refrain from discussing this matter in mixed company, lest the whitefolks catch on to how we really feel and use it as a weapon to destroy the brother.
These are the same folks who know enough conspiracy theories have proven to be true, and so they worry Obama's safety and will believe it -- the possiblity of a black man in the White House -- when they see it. They are not disdainful of Obama but of a white dominant culture who makes sport of elevating people in general, black folks in particular, to exalted positions only to knock them down like a lifeless pinata.
In the end, the media and pollsters have yet to discover that we are not a monolithic group of people. Stanley Crouch no more speaks for me than Ann Coulter or Bill O'Reilly. Shared skin color do not a shared political ideology make.
But, as always, when presented with the choice of the devil we know and the devil we don't know, I'm betting we'll choose the devil that looks more like family.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Whose America?
This was too good to let pass.
I really only have one itsy-bitsy, teensie-weensie question: is Rep. Keith Ellison an American citizen?
I just need to be sure.
Cause, um, if he is -- and I think the law is on the side of him being one -- I am pretty sure he gets to worship the devil and request whatever holy book ol Beezlebub is using these days.
I'm almost certain.
One day, soon, there will be a morning when I'll awaken to the sounds of irreverant jaybirds chirping. A soft spring breeze will caress my face as I brew a cup of free trade java. I'll turn on the news and the lead story will be: White Americans, The New Minority.
That will be a good day.
I love free trade coffee.
I really only have one itsy-bitsy, teensie-weensie question: is Rep. Keith Ellison an American citizen?
I just need to be sure.
Cause, um, if he is -- and I think the law is on the side of him being one -- I am pretty sure he gets to worship the devil and request whatever holy book ol Beezlebub is using these days.
I'm almost certain.
One day, soon, there will be a morning when I'll awaken to the sounds of irreverant jaybirds chirping. A soft spring breeze will caress my face as I brew a cup of free trade java. I'll turn on the news and the lead story will be: White Americans, The New Minority.
That will be a good day.
I love free trade coffee.
The Obama Factor
There are no less than five thousand current sources extolling the virtues of Senator Barack Obama. They are, by and large, written by better writers than myself who have done way more research than I am ever willing to do. So I will not wade into that fray.
However, I WILL talk about some of Obama's heretofore unmentioned qualifications for President of the United States.
The man is no dummy. In this day and age I know that does not mean alot but have we not tired of politicians that do not even READ the bills they vote on? Pointy head intellects aren't the devil people. The people who point and laugh at the pointy head intellectuals...well, they sell defense contracts to the devil.
Go smart. I promise you won't regret it.
Obama is fine, yes. But more importantly in our image-concious society he is not "too" fine. He's not that kind of black fine that sets off alarms of white male sexual inadequecies and fear. He is just fine enough to want to identify with but not so fine that the call to lock up the blondes is sounded.
He has a black wife. And not some Jack and Jill milquetoast black wife, but a sister's sister. In other words, you are never going to confuse this woman for a latina. As much as this is significent for black women voters it is equally important to white voters. If he loves black woman, he can't possibly be defiling innocent white ones on the weekends a la Harold Ford. This makes him immune to that type of race baiting campaigning.
For all of the articles and press I have not heard one person acknowledge one of Obama's most basic strengths in the mental endurance contest that is a run for the White House. Black Americans, by virtue of being both black and American, are innately skilled at withstanding the kind of bullying, backstabbing and power trips that is the political system.
The brother working at McDonald's learns how to sidestep conversations on sexy white women with his boss. The sister working in the office downtown knows, instinctively, just how much she can trust her white co-workers with her ambitions and personal business. Almost all of us have learned that there is only so much of our true selves that we can bring to the white folks' party and we do it without even thinking.
That kind of ingrained cloak and dagger survival skill set can be found in the most unsophisticated of black folk. Imagine how highly tuned and refined it must be in a brother who was elected President of the Harvard Law Review?
They can keep thinking the optimistic tone, upbeat approach and easy smile is soft if they want to.
We know the deal and that helps to explain some of that cautious excitement you feel in the air.
However, I WILL talk about some of Obama's heretofore unmentioned qualifications for President of the United States.
The man is no dummy. In this day and age I know that does not mean alot but have we not tired of politicians that do not even READ the bills they vote on? Pointy head intellects aren't the devil people. The people who point and laugh at the pointy head intellectuals...well, they sell defense contracts to the devil.
Go smart. I promise you won't regret it.
Obama is fine, yes. But more importantly in our image-concious society he is not "too" fine. He's not that kind of black fine that sets off alarms of white male sexual inadequecies and fear. He is just fine enough to want to identify with but not so fine that the call to lock up the blondes is sounded.
He has a black wife. And not some Jack and Jill milquetoast black wife, but a sister's sister. In other words, you are never going to confuse this woman for a latina. As much as this is significent for black women voters it is equally important to white voters. If he loves black woman, he can't possibly be defiling innocent white ones on the weekends a la Harold Ford. This makes him immune to that type of race baiting campaigning.
For all of the articles and press I have not heard one person acknowledge one of Obama's most basic strengths in the mental endurance contest that is a run for the White House. Black Americans, by virtue of being both black and American, are innately skilled at withstanding the kind of bullying, backstabbing and power trips that is the political system.
The brother working at McDonald's learns how to sidestep conversations on sexy white women with his boss. The sister working in the office downtown knows, instinctively, just how much she can trust her white co-workers with her ambitions and personal business. Almost all of us have learned that there is only so much of our true selves that we can bring to the white folks' party and we do it without even thinking.
That kind of ingrained cloak and dagger survival skill set can be found in the most unsophisticated of black folk. Imagine how highly tuned and refined it must be in a brother who was elected President of the Harvard Law Review?
They can keep thinking the optimistic tone, upbeat approach and easy smile is soft if they want to.
We know the deal and that helps to explain some of that cautious excitement you feel in the air.
Dear Democrats
Dear Democratic Party,
I know you have a history of being "progressive" on issues of race, class and sex. Or at least that's what your PR says -- I know some folks who beg to differ. But, for me, the incongruity of your politics with your intent has never mattered much because in the end I am black and have ovaries. As such, it would go against everything I am to vote Republican.
Even when I pay more taxes than Donald Trump's second wife on 1/459th the pay, I figure it's got to better than putting a third generation "no spooks on my watch" Republican in some position of power. So I continue to vote against my own best interests.
And that is the choice I, like millions of other black folk make when we vote Democratic. We opt-out of the potential tax breaks our college education and middle class jobs have qualified us for. We vote against death tax policies that could benefit our children, many of them the first to ever stand to get any inheritance not resulting from an overpriced insurance policy. We vote against smaller government and less invasion into our personal lives, ideals that contrary to popular belief many of us favor, because we do not have a choice.
Our history has proven that crazy white folks can't be trusted to do what is best when faced with emotionally-driven, race-baiting politics -- they will close the school before they will let a black child read in its library after all - so we have to vote for the party least likely to put us back in the fields.
That's where you come in. We've voted for you in an almost lock-step block for four generations now. And we haven't asked for much -- a holiday here and there, a national guard to keep us from getting lynched, small stuff really.
But the time has come to cash in some of our political chips.
If this party does not grow a pair of balls and step beyond the idealism of kumbaya politics and give me a nominee who can win in 2008 I will be forced to renounce my party affiliation.
Yeah, I said it: balls, cajones, hairy ones.
Hillary cannot win. She is indeed smart enough, ruthless enough, practiced enough but she. can. not. win.
And I am tired of losing. Especially to illiterates who bring no vision but a sack full of balls.
You let a bowlegged cowboy whup up on a freaking war hero. You can no longer be trusted to do what is best for the party, so this year I am making my desires known.
Thanks to a little thing called the internets I am sending my manifesto: grow a pair or lose the negroes.
If you don't have an insider with the guts to tell Hillary that she cannot win, feel free to call me. I got nothing to lose.
Either way I'll still be overtaxed, underpaid, taken for granted, pandered to and, at the end of the election, summarily ignored. After all, I am a black Democrat.
But a chick with nothing to lose? Dangerous indeed.
Now. Let's play ball shall we?
Signed,
Demoralized Dem
I know you have a history of being "progressive" on issues of race, class and sex. Or at least that's what your PR says -- I know some folks who beg to differ. But, for me, the incongruity of your politics with your intent has never mattered much because in the end I am black and have ovaries. As such, it would go against everything I am to vote Republican.
Even when I pay more taxes than Donald Trump's second wife on 1/459th the pay, I figure it's got to better than putting a third generation "no spooks on my watch" Republican in some position of power. So I continue to vote against my own best interests.
And that is the choice I, like millions of other black folk make when we vote Democratic. We opt-out of the potential tax breaks our college education and middle class jobs have qualified us for. We vote against death tax policies that could benefit our children, many of them the first to ever stand to get any inheritance not resulting from an overpriced insurance policy. We vote against smaller government and less invasion into our personal lives, ideals that contrary to popular belief many of us favor, because we do not have a choice.
Our history has proven that crazy white folks can't be trusted to do what is best when faced with emotionally-driven, race-baiting politics -- they will close the school before they will let a black child read in its library after all - so we have to vote for the party least likely to put us back in the fields.
That's where you come in. We've voted for you in an almost lock-step block for four generations now. And we haven't asked for much -- a holiday here and there, a national guard to keep us from getting lynched, small stuff really.
But the time has come to cash in some of our political chips.
If this party does not grow a pair of balls and step beyond the idealism of kumbaya politics and give me a nominee who can win in 2008 I will be forced to renounce my party affiliation.
Yeah, I said it: balls, cajones, hairy ones.
Hillary cannot win. She is indeed smart enough, ruthless enough, practiced enough but she. can. not. win.
And I am tired of losing. Especially to illiterates who bring no vision but a sack full of balls.
You let a bowlegged cowboy whup up on a freaking war hero. You can no longer be trusted to do what is best for the party, so this year I am making my desires known.
Thanks to a little thing called the internets I am sending my manifesto: grow a pair or lose the negroes.
If you don't have an insider with the guts to tell Hillary that she cannot win, feel free to call me. I got nothing to lose.
Either way I'll still be overtaxed, underpaid, taken for granted, pandered to and, at the end of the election, summarily ignored. After all, I am a black Democrat.
But a chick with nothing to lose? Dangerous indeed.
Now. Let's play ball shall we?
Signed,
Demoralized Dem
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
