Debate -- Part Two -- Raw Copy

Note: Raw copy denotes that this is published as I wrote it while simultaneously watching the debate, mixing dirty martinis and fielding hilarious phone calls from my mother. I'll be editing and summarizing later. But I thought you might enjoy seeing how my mind works.

The Non-Iraq Foreign Policy segment

First to Obama is a question about who are our biggest allies, surely meant to test his knowledge of the landscape. I held my breath and he did well. He acknowledges NATO, EU, Japan and possibly China in economic issues. He manages thee follow up about that "no one has suffered more than the Palestinian people" quote issue.

But of course, as expected, Biden speaks on it with the ease of someone who has met all of the people he's talking about.

Gravel says we don't have enemies. I ain't never scared!!! We need to treat the world like equals. I'm sure this man is making excellent points but I swear to god I'd stun gun his ass if i saw him on an airplane with me.

OK, I like Edwards well articulated concept of influencing the culture of our "enemies" by supporting education, clean water and health issues to redefine ourselves as a culture that people want to emulate. I'm on board with that. And he mentioned micro-financing, one of the best little ideas ever had.

Being stubborn is not a foreign policy, Bill Richardson. Icon please. He's also the first and only one to mention Darfur!!!! "Why doesn't America care about Africa", he says!! GOD BLESS BILL RICHARDSON.

Dennis once again shows a good handle on the details and how unafraid he is of being the odd man out when he is the only one not to raise his hand in response to "who here believes there is such a thing as a global war on terror."

Senator Obama gets some complex mumbo jumbo hypothetical question about two cities are attacked simultaneously while we're here and it's terrorism. how do you change our foreign military position to address it?!!! get the fuck out of here? who gets that with one minute to answer? that's not fair. He responds well but not extremely detailed.

Oh, OK, Edwards gets it too. They both reference the importance of good intelligence and a lack of real homeland security.

Did you know Hillary was a senator during 9/11? Well she was. If we were attacked she would retaliate, swiftly. See Jane with cajones!

Dennis says he keeps a copy of the constitution in his pocket. To prove it he whipped it out. Gravel slipped a hand in his waistband on the low-low till he saw it was just a harmless, gutted document. Kucinich says he'll impeach Cheney if he has violated it because he took an oath to defend the Constitution. Yeah, he said it. Go for it Dennis. There is at least one person running for President who knows the Constitution, he says.

Dodd on gay marriage vs. civil unions. He says think about your children and how would you like them to be treated: good, logical way to filter his feelings on this issue. Matches my views. Protect rights without discrimination. he supports civil unions, not marriage. I like his commitment and clarity on the issue.

Biden has a green plan. He said it quickly in detail so I know he does. I did catch that he and Obama coauthored an emissions bill. Move from dependence on foreign oil, that's his basic plan -- or the only thing i caught, whatever.

Oh, c'mon! Give me Gravel back!!! It's been like twenty minutes.

Bill wants to plan for a post Castro Cuba which i think means reconsidering trade with them which I'm all for. Punishing brown people indiscriminately just cause he doesn't have oil or diamonds is so last century.

There's Gravel! We're mischaracterizating terrorism. It's always existed, always will. Fighting it is like the war on drugs, a fool's mission. He's got a point that. this invasion has created more terrorists he says. Ol' Gravel is my kind of drunk - he gets more lucid the drunker he gets.





Wait, wait!! there's a Dennis v Obama smack down! Obama says he Iraq is forming weapons and we have to deal with that! he's coming out. Dennis is coming back at it. Back too crazy Gravel? Who the hell are we going to NUKE, Barack, he screams.

Barack says hold up, I ain't bout to Nuke nobody man!!! Don't get froggy cause I will jump! Uh oh! He came out strategically by the way. After that what would you do if two cities were attacked question he had to say something "tough" and this was his offensive swing. the thing is, that'll be played on the news for the next three or four days. nice move.

Edwards prays everyday to his Lord and his wife or something.

Hillary on the real issue! WAL MART, good or evil!!! I like these questions. Mixed bag she says. That ho ain't never needed two dollar cereal or healthcare so Idon't much trust her on this issue. She's right that the middle class is invisible to the white house and corporate elite -- but,um, ain't she the corporate elite? i know she's got them on speed dial for sho'.

GREAT question about the survival of the Democratic Party to Biden! Are the Dems making themselves irrelevant and is there a true presidential winner on the stage? he says he sees a whole stage of winners and the Republicans don't won't none with Hillary. And a parting shot to Gravel and Kucinich: Stop the no war "happy talk" he says!

And it's over.

I'ma about to give you the best summation you will hear anywhere:

This was not about a candidate; this was about the Democratic party.

this is a party willing to compromise to win. this whole debate was about selling the fact that we are better than the republican party. they are going to choose the winners. Ifeel better about that.